Angst and Agony for your pleasure

06:36 pm - hehehe

SO that last post was completely random, it honestly and truly had no ties to today's writer's block suggestion as a catalyst :D

04:40 pm - Happi holidaze

It's the most loathsome month because of the weather but it's also my favourite month because of the sheer opulence of it all... it's not that I 'm a Christmas junkie... there's a lot of really crappy tacky shit out there, but I love the texture of the decor, and the rich colours and the different patinas of glass baubles, velvet ribbons, satiny fabrics...
I love the rich smells of mulling spices, citrus fruits, roasting meats.
I love the heady contrast of walking in the bitter biting cold and then entering a steamy, warm building... the silence of winter outdoors and the conviviality of the social events of the season.

I love the twinkling lights hiding under a dusting of shimmering snow, I love the crackle of fires in fireplaces (or bonfires, so long as it's not the curtains, it's all good)
As much as I HATE Jingle Bell Rock, I love the Huron Carol, and while NOTHING can disguise my contempt for the horrible English Carol of the Bells, its original Ukrainian Schedrivka gets my creative joy going (might be a familial thing: M Leontowich, composer of the music, may be a great uncle of mine).

Despite my misfortunes with the Stupid Moscow Ballet, I still get a kick out of the Nutcracker and dwell more on the tour of 2000 with Shumka and the Kyiv National Ballet, which was WAY more fun.

I love the legends that on New Year's, at midnight, animals are given the chance to speak. I always try to have a pleasant conversation with the cats.

I miss the Anglo Christmas Eve trek to St Andrew's when they used to still do the children's bit and it was a minister by the name of Jones who had a great sense of humour and wasn't all fire and brimstoney.

I still enjoy the Ukrainian Christmas service with some truely beautiful music... can't say I'm all that religious, but there is a sense of spiritual uplift in the Christmas services that I'm not ready to discount.

It's sad that it's all over at the beginning of winter: kind of a last hurrah of luxury before the austerity of the deep freeze.

Whatever you do, stay warm, physically and spiritually.

Khrystos Razshdayet'sya

Current Mood: pensive

10:43 am - the true bitch of this cold

... I haven't slept for more than 5-10 minutes at a time for the past 48 hours... every time I doze off I start to drown or choke on the contents of my sinuses.
I'm eating cold and sinus formulas by the handful to no avail.

I've taken to shoving lumps of vick's vaporub up my nose like a roadie shoves coke. I'd do lines of the stuff, but it just sticks to mirrors and the rolled up bills.
I just want some REST.


Thoughts and suggestions are welcome... the usual trick of garlic and vodka helped get rid of the pain, but not the goo.

I need to get rid of the goo if only for a few hours

Current Mood: Snotface

01:05 pm

Ohmigod that felt good!

01:02 pm - Brian Myhre is an ass

03:37 pm - No srsly. WTF?

In the last two weeks every time I've opened my mouth to say ANYTHING, I've be spat upon, shat upon and oh boy, just cut down any possible way. Like, holy shit! The tight-wound spirals into hyperbole and ad hominem attacks have been really something!

Way to find out who your friends are.

Thanks, Assholes.

Current Mood: Fucking disappointed

01:50 am - ! :(

I hate everyone right now.
No, srsly... I want to cancel all the plans I've made for the next 3 months. Don't wanna play nice anymore. You hate my opinions? Tough.
Tired of shutting up.
Tired of taking your shit and trying to twist some crazy delusion of friendship out of it.
WHy pretend, huh?
Look. DON'T include me if you don't want to, okay? It's just better for everyone concerned.

Even the cocktail party's rapidly deteriorating to dinner for four and I think I'm pleased with this idea.

Current Mood: angry pity party pooper

03:38 am - <3

<3 my spouse for being who he is...
<3 him for pulling together an awesome show with NAfro Dance
<3 for bringing me on board so that he wouldn't drop dead from exhaustion
<3 him for trusting me to do my job :D

Current Mood: loved

11:12 am - Update:

I've given notice to the high council... I feel WAY MO BETTA!

Current Mood: chipper

03:46 pm - Oh good grief...

I rue the day I agreed to join the high council... what started out as a good idea has been whittled down to a whole ton of piecemeal labour in exchange for fuck all... Micro management at its finest, indeed...

I want to remain a part of it, because I think that the idea behind it is sound. I desperately want to get away from it because the head of the operation is painfully incompetent, disrespectful, and generally sucks the fun and life out of everything.

So here it is: do I withdraw now, so they can get someone in to replace me ASAP, or do I finish up at least these next 2 events and then tender my resignation?

Current Mood: bitchy